Apologies come in all shapes and sizes, and one size doesn't fit all. Some apologies are long and thoughtful, and some are short and sweet. Some are even filled with great compassion while others appear to be cold and clinical. There are some types of apologies that are given out of obligation, and then there are other types that are given because a person wants to take sincere responsibility for what they have done wrong. Then there are some apologies that are absent in nature, and you may have to accept the harsh reality that you will never get an apology from the person who hurt you.
Chances are if you are single again, your prior relationship has ended. Whether it was voluntary or involuntary, the relationship ended. For some of you, it didn't end well and maybe things were left unsaid. When you take a step back and survey the damage, it's quite massive and pressing your life restart button may not be as easy as you had imagined. Matter of fact, you may feel that in order for you to move on, you need an apology. You know what---I completely understand your position. However, I want to challenge you and present a possible truth to you which is that person who hurt you or left you may not want to apologize to you or even recognize that you are expecting an apology.
Let me share a personal story that affected me. I was going through a very difficult time in my life, and I went to talk to this particular person because I respected their opinion. You know how some folks say certain people make them feel safe? Well this particular individual made me feel safe. I trusted them, and I thought so highly of them. Unbeknownst to me, when I reached out to talk, they made me feel like my problem was so little. I felt that I was not important and that I was wasting their time. During the course of our conversation, I could immediately see they were distracted. They seemed cold and standoff-ish. I must admit I was not prepared for this reaction, and I felt inept. Now I knew this person wasn't an identical twin, but the way they treated me made me feel like they were two different people. I just couldn't understand why this person would make me feel so small during a time that I needed them the most? In all fairness, I never told this person how they made me feel, because to be honest, when I walked away from our talk, I just told myself I would never ever do that again. In reality, I thought I was okay with how this situation ended. However, I eventually discovered I was suppressing my emotions deep down and that I was still hurting and harboring unforgiveness.
Can I tell you that you don't have a right to stay stuck just because someone who hurt you won't apologize or doesn't apologize. You don't think that God saw what happened? Maybe what they did to you most would agree that you are the victim, but does that mean you need to stay the victim? Your job is to not get stuck on the apology you didn't get. Instead, you need to stay focused on loving yourself, because if you don't love yourself, it will be hard for someone to love you back. I know beyond a doubt that giving and receiving love is what will benefit you a whole lot more.
As I close, I want you to remember that this absent apology you may have to accept will never arrive is really in your best interest. If you don't accept the absent apology, what is the alternative? Do you wait it out? Do you put your life on hold? Do you keep repelling everyone away? Do you want to stay single for the rest of your life, because of your waiting? How about this, I'll speak on your behalf and answer these questions for you? My answer for you is a resounding NO to every single question! No, I don't want you to wait it out. No, I don't want you to put your life on hold. No, I don't want you to keep repelling everyone. No, I don't want you to stay single for the rest of your life. Because God is greater in your life than whether or not you get that apology is reason enough for you to accept Him at His word which is, "Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." (Ephesians 4:31-32).