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DATING ADVICE:  Enough and Enough Again

7/4/2017

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"Tracy all I want to know is why is being loyal a bad thing. When do I walk away and when do I say enough is enough... -Mick"

Mick, loyalty is never a bad thing, so don't lose that quality about yourself.  I want to quote something that I heard from a Christian leader that still resonates with me even today that I want to share with you which is, "Anything taken to the extreme becomes error."  So although loyalty is not a bad thing at all, it should never overshadow nor compete with the voice of God or who God is in your life.  Why do I say this, because if the basis for being loyal is something that you are proud of and want everyone to know that you possess, then you just might miss out on hearing direction from God when your loyalty is not appreciated or reciprocated.  God created you, and He knows who you are from the inside out.  That loyalty that embodies you is meant to stay, but it is also meant to be cultivated by the one and only true God.

In terms of the enough, how can I be direct---dating is just plain ole hard at times!!!  Anyone who has ever dated can probably tell you that there were times when they put everything they had into a particular dating relationship and in the end, it still wasn't enough.  Most singles can also tell you that they knew something wasn't right in a particular dating relationship, but they stayed anyways.  Some have no clue why they stayed, but others have the same thing in common with you which is they are loyalists, and they just kept giving the person the benefit of the doubt despite the fact that their actions spoke a different language.  Anyone that knows me personally and ask me for advice, they know that eventually they are going to hear from me that, "Actions speak louder than words and good intentions."  So, Mick, enough should be weighed against a person's actions.  You should consider moving on when a person doesn't appreciate you, when their love doesn't reciprocate, when their mouth says all the right things BUT their actions DON'T match their words, when they put you on the back burner, when they push you away, etc.  I think for me personally and in addition to what I just stated, enough would also mean my feeling as though I would have to change who I am in a bad way to just be in a relationship with them, and especially if their mouth says they love Jesus, but that love for Jesus is situational.  

Mick, don't give up on dating or stop being loyal.  Just be you, let God show you how to apply your loyalty, and the right woman will appreciate and reciprocate because she wants to be with you.  Thanks for letting me share your story!!!     


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