I know it can be a little disappointing when you trust a person and view them as a person of their word only to realize they are not a person of their word. To be honest, I don't really get that. Why do people tell you they are going to do something, and they don't do it? What was the point of saying it? What did they gain by saying it when they already knew they weren't going to do it? Some would say the reason people do this is they are too cowardly and just want to appease you, because they don't have the guts to tell you to your face. No matter the reason, words matter.
I've had to tackle a few frenemies in my life, so I feel like I am experienced in this area. Frenemies are enemies appearing to be your friends. I have also heard it said that frenemies are friends appearing false. I think you get the picture. I think the two main times when you get a good whiff of discovering your frenemies is when you are trying to do something for a greater good, or when words are publicly spoken and you are recognized for doing something impactful that really and truly helps other people. Typically when either of these two things happen, you can almost be certain that jealousy will be sparked in your frenemies.
The story of Saul and David is a great biblical example of what frenemies would look like in ancient times. As it began in 1 Samuel 17, young David made the decision to fight the Philistine named Goliath because he was a servant of King Saul. David fought and succeeded in fighting Goliath, because God had gifted him to do this and not Saul. You would think that Saul would have been grateful and thankful for this unprecedented victory, but because of the complimentary public words spoken by some people stating that David had slain ten thousands more than Saul's thousands, Saul's anger, hate, and jealousy was ignited toward David (1 Samuel 18). Matter of fact, the Bible says after hearing these words, Saul eyed David from that day forward (1 Samuel 18:9). See all of this got started, because David gave Saul his word that he would help the people by destroying Goliath. David wasn't trying to be arrogant, but he knew God was on his side and would be with him. David viewed his victory as fulfilling the words he spoke to Saul as victorious, but Saul ultimately viewed this as vengeance.
Words matter. Words are so powerful that they can illicit love or ignite hate. I can certainly relate to David's innocence of not trying to be recognized or gain fame, because he simply wanted to help out his fellow people and do his part. Frenemies oftentimes are fueled by anger, hate, and jealously, and they immediately want to attack the person they think is standing in their way of being recognized. There have been times when I gave my word, and it cost me more personally than the task at hand. Despite the personal cost, I finished the task. There were times when I knew my frenemies wanted me gone, and I left. I didn't leave because they ran me off--ABSOLUTELY NOT. I left because it was best for the greater good for me to step aside. During these times where I knew God had made known to me these truths, I was so grateful to God for showing me not only the true identity of my frenemies but their evil intents and motives. With this knowledge, I could have spoken up and revealed my frenemies' evil intents and motives, because I would have been vindicated. However, like David with Saul, sparing your frenemies' life shows growth and a heart that God can continue to use (1 Samuel 24).
When I leave something, it's never because I couldn't handle the resistance, it's because it's best to step aside and recalculate for the greater good of others and to keep focused on moving forward and running and finishing my race before Jesus. See I have learned that frenemies don't last and their evil intents and motives will never, I repeat, never warrant the same godly fruit they think they can produce because they aren't the intended recipient. Saul didn't win in his pursuit of David, and neither will my frenemies or your frenemies.
When you give someone your word, know the value of your words and stick to it. If you happen to be the person who gave your word and you didn't stick to it, you must assume responsibility and learn to accept whatever loss that came from your decision. As a follower of Jesus, you must decide if you want to be a David or a Saul as you decide your preference of victory or vengeance. Don't let your frenemies decide your future. Don't fall prey to hate, anger, and jealousy. Remember, when there are times that you have to step aside to keep from being held back, opt to step aside, recalculate, and do what is necessary to keep moving forward.