If I may expand a little, the boyfriend or girlfriend will always be the last person on board the ship already preoccupied by the children and their mom or dad. Everybody on board already have their assigned seats and duties. So when you come along disrupting their waters, you will run into great resistance if you don’t handle it correctly.
When alone with you, the person you are interested in may seem so free to fully engage you in their life’s events. However, this same person may be unrecognizable to you in the presence of their children. There is no need to fret, it’s just a matter of your being patient with them as they work to not only make you feel comfortable with their children, but also having their children feel comfortable with you.
You maybe wondering, “Well how long should all this “feeling comfortable” stuff take?” Unfortunately, this is a question I cannot answer. However, the one thing I do know is that you should proceed with caution, because a person’s children will always be around even if you aren’t.
If you end up marrying this person one day, it is reasonable to expect, if you work at it, that you will also have a seat and duties on board their family ship. Initially, you are like the nanny, you spend time with everybody, get a chance to even learn about their dreams and shortcomings, they expect to see you, but you still do not have a right to ask certain things yet.
Don’t shy away from loving a single parent or wanting to marry a single parent. You just need to know how to proceed with their children and not place unreasonable expectations on them in having to choose you over their children. It is very possible to operate in a unified family structure one day with time, patience, tons of love, and a forgiving heart.