When people are single again, they have things that they must consider when deciding to start dating: kids, shared friends, former in laws, forgiveness, EXs, putting grief behind, accepting the fact that they deserve a second chance, etc., are just to name a few. The key here is not to let these things become excuses for not starting over. Did you know that excuses can become a sort of idol worship, particularly when singles have been hurt, and they don't want to respond to God's call to move forward because He's doing a new thing in their life. Most people may not see it that way, but it does happen more than you think. If you have an outward excuse for not moving forward when you know you have an inward desire to do it, I would ask that you ponder on why you continue to use excuses. You cannot please everyone.
Starting to date again begins with your having a healthy attitude. You need to know that you deserve to be happy and that happiness shows up because you show up and not because you believe if you find someone, only then can you be happy. That my friend is the wrong attitude. No matter what happiness is a choice that only you can make.
One complaint that new girlfriends and boyfriends say is that they don't feel comfortable dating someone who still talks about their former life and/or compares everyone to who they use to love. (Let me say that if you have lost your precious spouse, please be sensitive to the fact that you put pressure on the person you are dating trying to measure up to what you and your loved one once built together.) That is an impossible and unfair standard, and I mean that in the most sincere way. Of course, there is nothing wrong with singles talking about their former life from a degree of helping your boyfriend or girlfriend understand what you have been through. However, talking about your former life as though it still defines your present life is a big NO! Out of fairness to you maybe you are not aware that you are doing it and may need a gentle tug. However, for those who are fully aware that this is their constant conversation piece, then this shows that you are not ready to start dating again.
If you have been out of the dating game for a while, you may want to consider getting yourself educated on how much the dating game has changed since you last participated. We all know how much fashion changes daily, so dating behavior and what is considered acceptable or not will require you to get equipped. Now don't get all holy on me, the Bible tells us to get wisdom and to get understanding. One thing I can think of right now is talking on the telephone vs. texting. Wow, who would ever imagine that a cell phone's importance grew beyond having it for just an emergency. See, I am a rebel for certain technologies, so I would need to examine if it is important to me to date someone who still appreciates a quick phone call or two during the week. In 2014, the dating game has and continues to change.
At the end of the day, you need to know that you deserve a second chance at love. Aside from considering your children's feelings, you cannot please everyone in your life. Don't fall prey to the enemy in telling yourself that as soon as certain things in your life happens, only then will you begin to focus on love. Trust me it will never be the right time. Letting God take care of you includes the time and timing of finding love again. So get out there, get equipped, and have fun!!