We all know that people go to church for many different reasons regardless of their marital status. Some folks are dealing with abandonment, rejection, divorce, sickness, forgiveness, death, unemployment, etc., and the last thing they want to deal with especially if they are married or in a committed dating relationship is to feel threatened by a single person with wrong motives.
As much as I hate to admit it, I do realize that not all singles go to church to worship God, sing, pray with one another, etc. Instead there are some singles, not all, but some whose mission is to unfortunately attend church with the sole purpose of finding a spouse. These types of singles actually set a bad example for other singles who don’t share this mission.
I don’t think that people mean to come off with these sacred boundaries when they know you are single, but it’s just one of those things. As some would say, “It is what it is.” I want to be clear that healthy boundaries are needed and appropriate. I do believe that people, regardless if you are single or not, should display proper behavior at all times and respect other people’s relationships. What I am not saying is that automatically putting a guard up when you are around other singles is not “kool” at all.
Personally, the number one thing that bothers me regarding this issue is that some people fail to realize that I and other singles have standards as well. Sometimes people are so busy wanting to make sure that singles keep their distance from them that it becomes borderline insulting. They don’t always stop and think about the individual’s character that they are conversing with first to determine if this person is known to have wrong motives. If wrong motives apply, then yes, keep your distance, but don’t place everybody in this category. The second thing that bothers me is what happened to people just having a normal conversation without worrying about what other people think? I have personally seen folks whispering when they see me talking with someone else who is single. Maybe we are talking about politics? Maybe we are talking about the Yellowstone National Park? My point is not every conversation is about hooking up or trying to flirt with someone. Guys, maybe you need to pray for me on this issue. As you can see I am not fond of being labeled because I am single, and I especially don’t like to experience this in the church.
Before I close with this article, I want to say that I am fully aware that this type of behavior is not found in every church. Maybe you’ve never experienced this or maybe you have, but nonetheless, this is an issue that some singles face. To give you an even broader view of the issue, if a person is single in the church, it can actually affect what position they hold in a church or where they serve. Fair or unfair, gifted or not, called by God or not, see this issue is deeper rooted than on a relational level. I hope that you receive this article with much sensitivity in which I am writing it. Be righteously proud of your singleness no matter how some folk respond. God knows your heart and that’s all that matters.