by Tracy Truesdale
It has taken me a few weeks to fully process my thoughts regarding this article I’m writing. Not because I hadn’t heard of it before, but because I have never truly experienced this in real time on a level with individuals who have risen to extremely high levels in their family associations and careers. I must say it had to have been God to author my divine connection with these individuals, because otherwise the chances of me ever meeting them “cold turkey” would have been super-duper slim in my estimation. With that said, I want to thank them for giving me permission to share some of my experience in this article.
I don’t want to bore you with too many talking points, but I was invited to take part in this women’s health panel group that consisted of many different women in various professions to discuss specific life categories and their impact on women’s health. I was asked to take these various life categories and apply them specifically to singleness and abstinence. It was quite a welcomed challenge for me especially since not all participants were Jesus chicks! All went well and because I welcomed this opportunity, I was introduced to a few people who then turned around and invited me to a private dinner to hear some of my story with a few folks whom I didn’t know at the time were extremely high end well-to-do folks.
After a series of security “checks and balances” that I was asked to oblige, the dinner was great and I had a really nice and fun time. Prior to going, I had been praying not so much about what to say, but how to say it. I definitely didn’t have any fear nor did I think I was out of my league, but I knew that God had opened up this opportunity, and that meant He surely had a message for me to deliver.
The time came for me to just share a little of my life and to put some depth to the reasons why I had made certain decisions along my journey. To my amazement, I had everyone’s undivided attention even though it was a very small dinner party. Here I am sitting in this immaculate room with furniture, paintings, décor, etc., that probably cost more than my entire house. Now that I think about it, the utensils alone probably cost more than a family vacation for four lol. After all their intense listening as I concluded my life story, suddenly there was this “Noah’s Ark” flood of questions directed at me that I didn’t anticipate. I can laugh now as I reflect back, but at that time I was like, ”Whoa one at a time.”
I was honored that they immediately felt they could trust me and wanted my opinion. I mean from my perspective, these folks have at their fingertips access to get advice from some of the most brilliant minds in the world, but God, and I mean only God, had me sitting before them. Of course, I could see that despite all their material wealth, they were just ordinary people who happen to be single just like you and me. However, there was one distinction that I began to notice that did set them apart from ordinary single folk which was their ability self-sabotage love when it came knocking at their door.
Their questions were very thought provoking and overwhelmingly specific to their lives. As I sat there and listened to each of their individual concerns and answered their questions, I came to a common denominator that they each shared on the topic of love. This common denominator shared was not finding love, but putting their love interests through these calculated tests that were doom for failure all because of who they are in society as well-to-do people.
Here I am sitting there like, “Really, you asked this woman to do what to assure you that she wouldn’t embarrass you publicly all because you could see a future with her?” “Did I just hear you right that you had found this great guy, and you were more concerned about how your dating him would affect your company’s stock portfolio which in turn you would have to answer to your shareholders?” “No way you broke up with her, because you felt the timing wasn’t right, because you didn’t think your parents could handle it.” To anyone reading this article right now, this was a world I never knew existed except in movies and on television.
Can I be brutally honest with you? In those moments of listening to these precious folks, my mind wandered away from me for just a moment into “Tracy’s World.” In “Tracy’s World”, I said to myself if I ever found out that a man who is interested in me beyond just dating me put me through these calculated, dumb, insulting, time consuming, meaningless tests and scenarios, he is NOT worthy of me no matter who he is, what he has, or what position he holds. Excuse me for being brutally honest, but I warned you!
Despite my shock factor, deep down I truly understood why these precious folks felt they had to do what they were doing in order to protect themselves. Some of them had been raised this way, while others acquired their status later and felt it was necessary to handle their love life a specific way as to keep their status. Nonetheless, I felt sadness for these folks, because what they couldn’t see was that the method they employed was not working which is why they were still single. By the way at this moment, it also became abundantly clear to me why God had sat me before them.
Yes, it’s true that money surely can’t buy love. Yes, it’s true that money does attract honey and flies. Yes, it’s true that even the well-to-do folk don’t have it all together. Yes, it’s true that even people in positions of authority, do some dumb and stupid things too in which logic is nonexistent!
I took a deep breath, and asked God to help me not judge them and to be mouthpiece He could use for such a time as this. What popped up in my spirit was to approach finding love in the context of Heaven. In other words, I spoke to them as if I was having a conversation with God after meeting Him face to face, and He was asking me how I felt about the man He sent my way to love and cherish until death departed us? It took some convincing these folks to see love without status, finances, fame, or image, but I finally got them to settle down and just appreciate these four letters spelled L-O-V-E.
Over the next few hours, my conversation with them became more robust as I walked them through the difference in being single the way the world defines it and being single the way God defines it. How do I tell her that her company’s stock portfolio has zero importance to the man God would present to her? How can I make him understand that although his parent’s input is important and can be taken into consideration, but it should not be his final decision authority? How can I make this crystal clear to him that asking a woman to do all these things for him upfront as a way to "audition" her while he sat on his throne probably made her feel inferior, and it was completely unfair to her when all she wanted was his love in return?
We as humans sometimes complicate love when we have money, status, positions of authority, or even when we are just ordinary people. Have you ever stopped and thought about the fact that love is doing the job God designed it to do, but we as humans add on all these conditions and restrictions that we oftentimes suffocate love? We oftentimes don’t realize we are lonely, because we self-sabotage love. My question to you is what will you say to God when you meet Him face to face, and He asks you, “Hey, did you appreciate the woman I sent to you? Didn’t she meet all your needs? Did you enjoy spending time with her?” “What about that amazing guy I sent to you? You didn’t think I heard you, but he was your second chance at love when you didn’t think you could love again. Wasn’t he worth the struggle you went through?”
As for my dinner party, things ended up working out just fine. Everyone welcomed my offer to pray for each one of them individually, and I posed one question specific to each of their lives that I wrote on a plain napkin on purpose. I wasn’t sure if I would ever have a chance to speak with them again and that was okay with me, but I wanted them to remember me and my relationship with God in terms of the simplicity of the napkin. The napkin isn’t complicated, neither is God, and neither is L-O-V-E. That everything around them like all the exquisite and expensive things that surrounded us in the room during dinner can overshadow the very thing that we need even though it might be small and unassuming like a napkin. A napkin has no fan fare and is oftentimes discarded after use, but its purpose is still vital to the mission just as God will always be vital to changing their outlook on how to sustain love with a man or woman who can love them beyond what they have and who they are in society. I made it clear that allowing God to have access to change what needed to be changed was their choice, and that choice required action and not just their words and good intentions.
As I close, I hope you gleaned something valuable for your life from this article? I hope this article serves to be a reminder that the money you have and the position you possess means absolutely NOTHING to God, because without God you wouldn’t have it anyways. So why would you partake in complicating L-O-V-E? Don’t insult God by thinking that the woman or man He is sending your way (that you have been praying about might I add) is still not good enough or requires further testing or auditioning, because you are afraid of what other people will think. This thinking wastes unnecessary time and takes away from what God maybe trying to do through you and your newfound L-O-V-E relationship. Not only can L-O-V-E be found in high places, it is God’s desire to bring L-O-V-E right to the place wherever you are. If you happen to be one of these people who have approached L-O-V-E this way, I want you to cease from this behavior, and stop making God’s job harder. God wants you to be happy. He wants to do this good thing for you, and present this woman or man to you regardless of what you have and your job title. If God is doing the presenting, then all that you worry about concerning L-O-V-E is going to work out for the best anyways. Stop worrying about losing these things that you can’t take to Heaven with you anyways, and stop worrying about people’s reactions to your choice of L-O-V-E. I have heard it said that what God starts, He finishes!